When will he every go through enough??

Yest was Carsuns last post op appt for his upcoming surgery next week. AHHHHHHHHHHHH.....at the top of my lungs is an understatement! I honestly dont know how I kept it together during that appt! Carsuns hardware (plates and screws) need to come out because he has out grown then and they are shifting down. This we knew..understand to the "T"! What we have been faced with is the HUGE back fall the last surgery gave him. His legs where crossing before the last surgery but not horrible, he could step, would clip his toes but could restep his foot to get it in the right spot and could walk in his walker slowly without to much support across a room! WONDERFUL work for him and he was soo proud..the joy on his face just makes him smile so much! Then we did the surgery and bam! Like a gun went off and everything he had joy for was taken from him..we where so stuck back and forth to doctors and getting told add this and do that and nothing NOTHING working! Now here we are at surgery time...PERFECT time to make a difference and BAM again! There goes everything we hoped for for Carsun this year! The surgeron only wants to remove the hardware...my reaction in my mind was literally blank...wht do u mean ONLY HARDWARE! Hardware didnt take his freedom away, it didnt take those tiny steps that he worked so hard to take away, CUTTING THE BONE AND SHORTING IT DID! Im not a doctor and I know that!! Now we are being told to take the hardware out...WAIT..and WAIT..and WAIT a whole 9 MONTHS to relook at where he is and go from there...SERIOUSLY!!! Hes 4 and is about to under go another painful surgery and you're telling me to wait another yr almost to just have to redo it another yr, another summer, another school year?? I just dont understand..im his mother, i see him EVERYDAY..u doctor has seen him a handful of times and take steps for literally 2 mins! Even his therapist said something needed to be done for him to succeed! Ugh I said my peace but I cant make a doctor do something, and I cant wait for another doctor at this point...my only option is to remove the plates, put him in pain, and turn around just when he begins to gain again and pull it all back! My head has been in this surgery for over a month now...i go week by week saying 3 wks 2 wks and now i just want to go back and say i have know idea whats next! I know wht i want for my son..im very realistic, i know he cant walk the moon much less the mall but i want him to at least have the option to try! I mean tht joy he had taking those tiny steps i used to feel where barely anything now seemes like a 1000 yards out of reach! Why ?? Why cant he just have one thing easy?? The one thing he found so much joy in being able to do; and not even the "normal" way, he cant even have back because we are "taking one step at a time"! Id just a yard of steps at once if thy knew it would help! We just want to see that joy again in his smile when he takes tiny steps instead of frustration and tears because he cant make 1 step without help fixing his feet!