Why cant there just be answers with a sure ending?!?

its been awhile and alot has happened in the past month since Carsuns cast where removed.Sadly more bad then good...

Carsuns legs started re-crossing. We kicked it into high gear and got him therapy within a wk of noticing it happen everytime he tried to walk. That in it self was not easy. our insurance keeps dening the pediatric physical therapy at the local hospital. We arent really sure why but didnt have alot of time to fight them like usual, so we found a place to go to while we tried to figure it out. Volk Physical Therapy has been amazing at stretching carsun and getting him "loose"...but Dr. Dean has done all he can do. We are praying this final push from his Nuero will get the therapy approved at the pediatric center. If so he will start on Friday.

Today Carsun went to the urologist for the first time. We have done many time trials on Carsun trying to see when he potties the most...well they dont work if he  potties alil bit every hr of the day! So anyways we went there today, answers...NONE. On the good side his kidneys and bladder both look fine. As for potty training their response was..."kids with CP we have no way of knowing just how damaged the area of the brain was affected, so we cant say he will or he wont but never give up trying. It could be 6mths or it could be 3 yrs, maybe never....just keep your head up and keep trying". I wanted to scream really..like dont u think we dont not give up on enough everyday....but i knew it wasnt his fault nor the nurses. They where just being honest.

I just am so tired of not knowing the future. ITs getting to be a big heart wrenching thing to handle! The headaches keep growing, the stress keeps monding, the tears keep puddling.

WHEN WILL IT EVER END???

I already know the answer...do I like it..NO...do I have to face it with a smile...YES.

Im scared I cant hold the strength he needs from me. Its more then seeing him move easily, talk normally, its about needing strength from the strongest around u to get through it....and im just not sure Ill be able to always be tht person. I hate for him all the IDK's, and limited answers.I just want PEACE...peace for us both...for our family. Will it ever come?? Im pretty sure I know tht answer too.